


Avarice

by RedRosella



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark Sides, Dissociation, Fighting, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Panic Attacks, Roman is Corrupted, artwork included
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-04-24 18:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14361609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRosella/pseuds/RedRosella
Summary: Roman hasn't been feeling well lately. He's been waking up at random times in the middle of the night, is perpetually exhausted, and he can't seem to get rid of this damn headache.If only that was all it was.Now he’s fighting against himself in a losing battle and hurting everyone around him in the process, not knowing if he’ll ever be himself again.





	1. Corruption

**Author's Note:**

> My first multi-chapter fic! And it's Roman angst! 
> 
> Enjoy ;)

Roman walked away exhausted from the new video he and Logan just filmed. The second he sunk out he immediately made a bee line for his room, ignoring Patton and Virgil still sitting in the longue waiting for the filming to end. Logan would deal with them. For now, Roman just needed to… decompress. They would understand.

All videos took a lot out of him, being such creative endeavours. This time was especially arduous however, simply because it was about such an important topic to him. Why Thomas should get out of bed in the morning.

He had so much he wanted to say about how Thomas should be pushing the boundaries of what he could do to become even better, how he should strive to do more, and the video was a perfect time to share all of that and push him.

It didn’t exactly work out that way, though.

He and Logan had just argued the whole video, and they hadn’t even come to a satisfying conclusion together at the end like usual! This time it was simply Thomas who had suggested the middle route. And while that was all fine and dandy, it didn’t fix the problem of Roman and Logan both having entirely different views on how Thomas should live his life.

 _Honestly, how dare Logan suggest that being creative and following your dreams was only worth 0.5% of your time?_ That’s like saying that creativity- what Roman embodied- was not important enough to even acknowledge most of the time!

Roman hadn’t said that logic should be completely excluded from his ultimate dreams, so why did Logan have to say creativity should be excluded from Thomas’ life besides the time he spends working on videos! _He was trying to force his own agenda on Thomas and cut me out._

Roman shook his head, rubbing his temple and stopping outside of his door, leaning on it for a second to catch his balance. This goddamn headache just would not go away, and it was only contributing to his exhaustion.

He just wasn’t feeling like his perfect self recently. Like there was something just… off and he couldn’t tell what it was.

Maybe he wasn’t getting enough sleep? He had never had any trouble getting to bed before, but recently he had been waking up at odd times of the night, never quite sure what had awoken him but always feeling tired.

It wasn’t really important though. He was probably just going through a rough patch. It happened to the best. Nothing to worry about. Soon enough he’d be out of this funk and back to peak capacity.

He pushed open his door after a minute, relishing the rush of cool air. The room was a mess, papers scattered on the ground, half finished paintings left to dry ages ago, crumpled up garbage that never got cleaned, but it was his mess. Organized chaos, as he liked to call it.

Roman slowly shambled over to his bed, collapsing on it with a groan. He could distantly hear Logan talking to Patton and Virgil, probably explaining what Thomas concluded during the video.

_Probably taking the credit for it, too._

...Wait, no, that wasn’t right. Logan wouldn’t do that. He might be a bit conceited, but he’d never twist the facts like that. Thomas came to a decision based on both of their ideas. It wouldn’t be logical to take all the credit.

Roman sighed, dragging a hand down his face. Maybe he had been unfair to Logan before. He probably shouldn’t have been so harsh during the video. Sure, Logan did try and create a schedule where there was barely any time for following your dreams, but it was pretty well known by all of them by now that no one side of the extreme would be the perfect answer. They all had outlandish ideas, but they knew in the end that they neutralized each other. It was expected at this point for them all to compromise.

And thinking back, Roman had said some pretty mean things to him in the heat of the moment. He could distinctly remember saying that Logan was all alone in the middle of the video. Why did he say that? That was extremely harsh and inaccurate, and didn’t further his point at all...

 _Because he deserved it, that’s why. He was trying to stop me from pursuing my dreams and achieving_ **_more._ **

Roman frowned. Why… why was he thinking like that? That wasn’t true. Logan didn’t deserve being attacked like that.

_Or did he?_

God, his headache was coming back in full force. He couldn’t think about this right now, whatever it was. It didn’t really matter. For now he’d just go to sleep, recoup some of his energy, and then figure it all out in the morning. He could apologize for what he said later when he was less riled up and this darn headache was gone.

Roman tucked himself under his covers, closing his eyes. Sleep came to him easily after the strenuous day, and he soon drifted off without a problem.

It’d didn’t last long, though.

~~~

Roman opened his eyes. He was in a white void, nothingness stretching on for miles. It was silent, except for the low sound of breathing behind him. He turned around, grabbing for his sword quickly, but then stepped back as he took in the sight before him.

There was Thomas laying on the ground, deathly pale and extremely roughed up. In some ways he almost looked like Virgil.

Roman made to run over to him, but before he would even make a step the dream version of Thomas spoke up.

_“Why did you let this happen to me, Roman? Why didn’t you do more?”_

“What? What do you mean? What did I do?” Roman shakily asked.

 _“Nothing. You did nothing. You let me fail. You let the others dictate what you did, and now look at me…”_ He motioned to his emaciated body.

“But- I thought you needed the others-” Roman stepped back.

_“They’re holding me back, Roman. They aren’t letting me live my dreams. This is what they want, Roman. They don’t want me to prosper. They don’t want me to grow and change. They want to keep me where I am now. And this is what I become, Roman. Because you were too weak to stop them. You didn’t hold your ground.”_

“I swear I didn’t mean to! I-... You-” It felt like the white void was becoming darker, threatening to swallow him up if he didn’t do anything. But he couldn’t move.

He didn’t want this. He- He was doing his best! He had been listening to the others and making sure to incorporate their ideas into his creative visions. But… that wasn’t the right thing to do?

Thomas stood up. _“If you didn’t mean to, then why do you keep doing it? Why don’t you push for_ ** _more_** _,_ _Roman. You let them walk all over you. Don’t you want that mansion by a waterfall? Don’t you want to be loved and admired by everyone? You won’t get that by backing down. You don’t want to be a failure, do you?”_

“No- I… I’m not a failure…”

Thomas stalked closer to him. _“Then why do you act like one? Why do you let_ **_them_ ** _dictate what you do? That’s what_ **_failures_ ** _do.”_

Roman’s breath hitched. He felt like he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs.“I thought-”

 _“That’s the problem. You don’t need to think, Roman. You aren’t like_ **_them._** _You just need to do. That’s all that you’re good for.”_ Thomas’ voice was laced with anger. He was face to face with him now, staring deep into his green eyes. Thomas placed a hand on his shoulder, and slowly Roman’s vision faded out. _“Don’t let me down, Roman.”_

~~~

Roman shot up, gasping. He held a hand to his chest, trying to take in deep breaths but unable to get the oxygen he so sorely needed. His vision was blurred, eyes thick with tears, and yet he felt hyper aware of everything around him.

He flinched as he could swore he saw something in the corner of his eye, but when he turned to look there was nothing there. Instead, everything just seemed twinged in… green? Roman didn’t know. _Roman didn’t care._

Roman was letting Thomas down. He was failing him, and soon everything would come crashing down, just like in his dream. Was it a dream? It had felt so real…

It didn’t matter. He realized now that he was letting the others use him. He had let Logan use him today.

The logical side had told him to ignore his dreams. Ignore himself. He told him that he was unimportant and then ignored everything he tried to say, only agreeing with him when he could get something out of it.

Roman was just trying to do what was best. He knew what was best. Why wouldn’t they understand? Why wouldn’t they listen?

Thomas couldn’t stay like this. He’d become boring and people would stop watching his videos. They’d move on to the next famous youtuber, forgetting all about the former vine star and leave him in the dust just like everyone else who refused to change with the times.  
Roman couldn’t let that happen.

Thomas needed power. He needed fame. He needed wealth.

He needed everything.

He needed **more.**

 

 

 

Roman’s eyes were green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry.
> 
> Check out my tumblr here: https://redrosella.tumblr.com/


	2. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sides wonder where Roman has been before getting an unwelcome surprise.

The sides hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Roman since the last video. It was almost like he was a ghost. All of them knew by now to give him time to decompress after a video, but three days was really pushing it. The most he’d had to leave for before had been two days, and that was only after one of Thomas’ more strenuous musicals was finally over after months of practice and performing.

Almost nothing could keep Roman down for long, which is why it was so concerning to the others that the prince hadn’t appeared even once since his and Logan’s video. It wasn’t like it was a more stressful or engaging video than usual. Sure it was a bit more creative with all the handwritten graphs and lists and the cut out artwork, but it shouldn’t have warranted a three day vacation.

Virgil worried his bottom lip between his teeth, unable to sit still in his seat. “We really should go check in on him…”

“You know Roman doesn’t like to be interrupted when in his room. I don’t believe we should be worried right now, anyway. Perhaps he was simply decompressing, and then went right into another one of his little artistic binges that keep him all cooped up. It is statistically probable given how often he has them that one might coincide with the ending of a previous video.” Logan adjusted his glasses, looking back down at his book.

“I don’t know, Logan. I mean surely he should have at least come down to eat by now? I cooked him dinner and everything!” Patton spoke up, poking his head from the kitchen in to comment. “He must be hungry…”  
“Roman can conjure anything, Patton. He can take care of himself.” Logan said, not looking up.

“Why are you being so blasé about this?” Virgil asked.

“I just don’t see the point in worrying about it right now. Roman can take care of himself. He certainly had it all figured out in the last video,” Logan mumbled bitterly.  
“Is that still bothering you, Logan?” Patton placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure Roman meant nothing personal by the video. He was just a bit over enthusiastic like usual.”

“I am not bothered by it. That would be illogical. I just wish he hadn’t been so dismissive of my points.”

Patton resisted the urge to point out that that qualified being bothered, instead trying to go for a more neutral route. “Well, maybe Roman believed you were dismissive of his ideas as well. He could be hiding away because he feels bothered as well. Maybe you should have a chat when he comes out of his room and sort all of this out. I’m sure something just got miscommunicated, and if you just talk it out and explain to Roman how you feel, you’ll feel better.”

Logan was about to reply when he suddenly stopped, hearing the telltale sound of footsteps coming down the steps. Roman walked down looking perfectly normal. Maybe a bit worse for wear in some departments, but certainly not the disheveled appearance he usually had after his creative binges.

“Roman!” Patton called. “It’s good to see you kiddo! We missed you.”

Roman didn’t respond. He just continued walking into the kitchen, grabbing one of the notebooks that he left lying around the house for whenever he got an idea out of nowhere, opening it up and scanning the pages. The moral side’s smile fell.

Virgil furrowed his brow. “Roman?” Nothing. “Roman,” he said more forcefully.

“What,” Roman grit out, not looking up from his notebook.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Then why were you ignoring Patton?”

Roman snapped his book closed, glaring at Virgil. “I don’t need to respond to everything you say. I just came to get my book, and now I’m going to go.” He stalked off.

There was a silence. Then-

“Geez, what crawled up his ass and died?”

“Virgil!” Patton swatted at the side’s shoulder. “Language.”

“I’m just saying what we’re all thinking.”

“I was not quite as crass, but I was thinking the general point. That was not very… Roman-y.” Logan waved his hand to the last word, adding extra emphasis to the eponym. “However, that did confirm that Patton’s hypothesis was correct. This attitude change seems to be in direct reaction to the video we just completed.”

“Well then maybe you should go up to his room and talk to him,” Patton suggested.

“He’s probably been hiding away because he doesn’t want to talk to Logan, Patton,” Virgil spoke up. “He’s not going to want to talk to him.”  
“I don’t see why. I didn’t say anything horrible during the video that would cause such a strong reaction.”

“Logan, I haven’t seen the video yet, but… well... I don’t know how to put this, but you are very blunt, and Roman is very sensitive. You may have said something that just rubbed him the wrong way accidentally, just like he said some things that rubbed you the wrong way. I’m sure neither of you meant it, but you two both have very different ways of speaking and communicating. Just go up and clear it all up. I’m sure Roman will listen.” Patton patted Logan on the shoulder.

Logan sighed. “Alright.” He put down his book, standing up from him chair. “Thank you, Patton.”

The logical side walked over to the staircase, taking the steps slowly to give himself time sort out his thoughts before going to confront the creative side.

He wasn’t mad at Roman for the video, really. He knew bringing Roman into it that they would have differing opinions, but he also knew that by the end of it they’d come to a satisfying conclusion about it. Or at least he had thought. This time there was no satisfying conclusion. Only Thomas cutting them off in the middle of insulting each other. Usually if they said something scathing during a video they’d apologize by the end of it, or at least see eye to eye in some respects, but that had never happened this time.

All the insults were just left hanging in the air between them with no resolution. It made sense that if Logan was upset by them then Roman would be too, given that they both traded insults several times.

Not that it bothered Logan. That would be illogical.

Logan came to Roman’s door, knocking on it twice and then stepping back, waiting for the side to appear. It took about thirty seconds but finally the fanciful side opened the door a crack, peering at Logan through the small gap.

Logan frowned, expecting the side to have slammed open the door like he usually would, but decided not to question it right now. There were more important things to worry about.

“Roman, I believe we need to talk,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses.

“About what?” Roman asked curtly.

“About the last video. I do not believe we parted on the best of terms, despite how it may have seemed. You have been locked away in your room for three days, and I have been out here, so clearly we haven’t communicated since the video ended. I believe you- we- said some things we may not have meant, so it would be best to clear the air before we continue on.”

Roman deadpanned. “There is nothing to say. Didn’t you hear Thomas? We make a great team.”

“That was quite obviously Thomas trying to end the video on a more positive note. We were no closer to a resolution than before he cut us off and suggested a middle road. We did not reconcile ourselves.”

“There was nothing to be reconciled. You said what you wanted, I said what I wanted, and then you ignored me despite wanting my help.”

Logan frowned. “I apologize if that is how it felt, Roman. I assumed you understood that the point of the videos is to meet in the middle.”

“I don’t think you understand, _Logic_ . I do not want to meet in the middle on this.” Roman opened the door more, stepping out and closing it quickly behind him. Being able to look closer at the side, Logan could see that he was more bedraggled he seemed at first glance. There were bags under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept for the three days he had been gone, and his glare was almost deadly in it’s intensity. “There was nothing to debate on. We don’t need to focus on trivial little things like you want. Not everything has to be about what _you_ want.”

“Roman that is highly illogical. I thought we went over this during the video. Thomas decided that-” Logan tried to reiterate before being cut off.

“Well Thomas was wrong. He doesn’t have to be right all the time. You’re just influencing him by pushing your own agenda. Well guess what? Thomas doesn’t need you, Logic. You’re just holding him back.” Logan took a step back, almost physically moved by the force of Roman’s words. “I was right when I said you were alone, Logic. No one wants to be around you when you never listen to them and instead try to use them for your own gain.”

“Falsehood,” Logan protested shakily. “I don’t- Roman, what has gotten into you?”  
“What has gotten into me?” Roman laughed. “Nothing. I’ve just become more aware. I don’t have to listen to you.” He turned on his heel, opening the door to his room and storming into it and slamming it shut behind him.

Before the door closed Logan swore he could see the room in disarray.

 

 

 

Logan felt his eyes burning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my tumblr here: https://redrosella.tumblr.com


	3. Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The easiest way to get power is to put others down so that you’re the one on top.

Logan hadn’t talked about what happened between him and Roman the previous day, but from the loud bang that echoed through the mindscape and the way the logical side was now sulking around it was obvious to Patton and Virgil.

The air in the mindscape was thick with unease, awkwardness permeating through the air at every turn. Roman hadn’t shown back up ever since grabbing his notebook, and neither Patton nor Virgil wanted to confront him without knowing what had happened between the two sides.

Meanwhile, Logan was throwing himself into his work with vigour, steadfastly ignoring the other sides. Whatever had been happened must have been extremely emotionally charged, and that kind of stuff often took a lot out of the Logan- although he’d never show it. Instead he’d just push through it until he could forget about it and hope things would go back to normal.

It wasn’t very logical, but it was what he did.

“Should we do something?” Virgil asked Patton, stirring his coffee absentmindedly.

“I don’t know, kiddo. This is between them I think. You saw the video. I’m not sure there’s much we can say to help out here…”

“We can’t sit back and do nothing, though… This is going to hurt Thomas if they keep it up.”

“The only thing we can do is wait, Virgil. We can be there for them, but ultimately it’s between them. I know it’s tough, but getting in the way in the past has never-”

Patton cut himself off as he heard soft footsteps coming into the kitchen. Logan appeared in the doorway, immediately making a beeline for the coffee maker.

“Hey Lo! What’s up?”

“Nothing. I am just getting some caffeine and then getting back to work.” He poured the rest of the rest of the coffee pot into his mug before taking a large sip.

Patton frowned. “Maybe you should take a break, Lo. You’ve been working pretty hard today.”

“While normally I would agree that taking a break can be conductive to getting work done in the future, I have no time to waste right now. Thomas has gotten big news and we cannot delay because of any… distractions any longer.”

“Big news? What big news?” Virgil perked up.

“We have gotten an advertising deal with Crofters.” A flash of a smile curled on Logan’s lips for a second. “We need to reply posthaste and begin making a video soon. Preferably with all of us, because that was what started the Crofters craze.”

Patton grinned brightly. “That’s great, Lo! We should get planning right away! Gosh, Roman must be so excited.”

“We only received the news today, and I haven’t talked to Roman since our… altercation yesterday, so he does not know yet. He should soon however as we need to begin planning as soon as possible.”

Virgil bit his lip. “Are you going to be able to plan with him after whatever happened yesterday?”

“I am not so petty as to allow an argument to get in the way of what Thomas needs to get done.” Logan deadpanned, however there was a hint of shakiness in his voice. He tried to cover it up by taking another sip of his coffee. “I don’t know about Roman, but I certainly will not sink to his level.”

Patton grimaced “Lo what happened yesterday? You’re obviously not okay. Did Roman say something? Do I need to give him a talking to? Because I will do it.”

“I’m fine.”

“Loga-”

“I’m going back to my room. I want to be alone right now. Tell Roman to come downstairs later so we can plan this out.” The logical side turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, leaving his half drank cup of coffee on the counter.

“...I’m going to go check on Roman,” Patton said quickly after Logan had gone up the stairs.

“What happened to giving them their space to figure it out?” Virgil inquired, although not protesting.

“I know what I said, but I’m not about to leave alone if they’re this hurt. Logan wouldn’t be acting this way if it was something small that they could resolve themselves. He should be bursting at the seams about planning a partnership with Crofters, but instead...” Patton worried his lip between his teeth, foregoing finishing the sentence. “I know he said he wanted to be left alone, but can you please go check on him?”

“Yeah sure, in a bit. I’ll let him cool down first.”

Patton smiled, thanking Virgil before turning to the steps and padding up them, taking a right turn to the fanciful side’s room. As he walked closer he began to feel a slight pit of uneasiness in his stomach. It was almost like when he walked into Virgil’s room except… different. It was hardly noticeable though, and Patton quickly brushed it off as he arrived at Roman’s door and knocked on it with the back of his hand.

“Roman are you in there kiddo?”

There was a pause, the shifting of papers, and then slow footsteps coming to the door. Patton stepped back, expecting the door to swing open any second, but instead Roman simply stayed on the other side.

“What is it, Patton,” he said dully. It didn’t even sound like a question.

“Oh- Uh, well, we gotta get working on a new video soon. Logan-”

“What does _he_ want?” Roman interrupted. Patton could almost hear him rolling his eyes through the door.

He blinked, temporarily forgetting what the was going to say before he recollected himself. “We- We need your input on what to do. Thomas got a brand deal with Crofters and wants to do a Sanders Sides video advertising it.”

Roman seemed to perk up at that. “Wait, really?” The door opened up, the fanciful side slipping out and closing it quickly behind him. “How much?”

“What?”

“How much are we getting for it?”

“I-... I don’t know? Does it matter? We have a brand deal with Crofters!”

Roman frowned, stroking his chin. “I suppose so. It could get us more offers in the future. Plus it would make the fans happy… It could work.”

Patton bit his lip. “Roman, is everything alright, kiddo? I kind of expected you to be bouncing up and down in joy by now.”

“I’m fine, padre. Was that all you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Well, no, I wanted to ask what happened between you and Logan? He seemed really upset…”  
Patton could see Roman roll his eyes this time.

“I just gave him a reality check, that’s all. It’s his fault he can’t take any amount of criticism. You guys criticize me on a daily basis and you don’t see me storming off like him.”

“What exactly did you say to him? When we give you criticism on your ideas, we usually try to do it constructively. I heard the door slam yesterday, so I’m not sure if it, uh, came across so well?”

“I just told him that he is pushing his own agenda and trying to use us to further his own wants.” Roman shrugged.

Patton gasped. “Roman! How could you say that?!”

“What? I’m just telling the truth! I thought that’s what we wanted. Don’t want to attract Deceit.” Roman wiggled his fingers mysteriously at the Dark Side’s name. “I’m the only one here with enough courage to say it.”

Patton stood up straighter, putting on his best ‘Dad’ voice. “I- I am disappointed in you, Roman! You really hurt Logan’s feelings! And no, that is not true! Logan understands that we all have to work together! That’s why he brought you into the video.”

“He just brought me in so that I’d agree with him and we could part ways. He just wanted me to say what he wanted to hear.” Roman folded his arms. “Are you really taking his side on this Patton? It sounds to me like he’s just using you because you’re the easiest to manipulate. You’re weak and easily coerced, and he’s been using that to his advantage. That’s why you’re always taking his side.”

“Roman…” In all the possible scenarios he thought might happen if he talked to Roman about what had happened, nothing like this had ever come up. The creative side wasn’t listening to anything he said. It was like he was stuck in his own little world. And sure, Roman could get a bit narcissistic and self absorbed sometimes, but this was something completely different...

Perhaps if Roman hadn’t hurt Logan’s feelings so much- which in turn threw Patton off his game- the moral side would have looked deeper into why Roman was acting so off. He would have taken a middle ground and realized that this could not possibly be his Roman.

Perhaps if Patton wasn’t the most emotional and easily distracted side he would have picked up the finer details like Logan would have. He could have deduced that what Roman was saying was highly illogical and taken steps to rectify it.

Perhaps if Virgil was here he would have been more on guard and prevented any of this from happening, or at least he could have stood his ground firmly and fought Roman on it.

Alas, Patton was none of those things, and instead he was left completely out of his depth, unable to formulate a suitable retort and leaving Roman to end the interaction.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Logan deserved a reality check. End of discussion. I’ll be down later to talk about the video, but I’m not going to concede anything to Logan. He won’t get in the way of this.”

Roman turned around sharply, quickly opening his door and stomping in just like he had done the day before.

Patton stood frozen in the hallway for a long time afterwards, turning over the conversation in his head and looking at it from every angle,trying to figure out just what he had done to cause Roman to lash out. What he could have done to prevent it if he wasn’t so ‘weak and easily coerced’.


	4. Excuses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Virgil have a chat and Patton comes back from his talk with Roman.

Virgil slowly made his way to Logan’s room. It had been about thirty minutes since the logical side had stormed off, and thirty minutes since Patton went to go confront Roman. He hadn’t returned yet, so Virgil could only hope that that conversation had gone well enough. Now it was time for his.

This was probably a bad idea. Logan clearly wanted to be left alone, and yet here Virgil was about to go barging into his room! He had told Patton he would though, and he wasn’t about to go back on his word now, even if the idea of confronting Logan made the pit in his stomach deepen.

Really, it was his own fault. He was the one that wanted to confront Logan about what happened in the first place while Patton was telling him to just let them work it out themselves. Patton had only changed his mind when Logan came downstairs acting all out of character. Virgil couldn’t very well go back on that idea now that Pat was on his side.

Besides, he still was really curious about what exactly happened to cause Logan such distress that it didn’t look like it was going to blow over anytime soon. 

Virgil took a deep breath, knocking on Logan’s door.

“Yes?” The reply came through.

“It’s Virge. Can I come in?”

There was a non-committal noise from the other side of the door, causing Virgil to bite his lip. That didn’t sound like affirmation, but it also didn’t sound like Logan was telling him to go away either. A part of the anxious side wanted to just leave and never talk to Logan again so he didn’t have to decipher whether he should go into the room or not, but he pushed through, taking a deep breath and opening the door. 

The bedroom was very Logan in it’s design. There weren’t a lot of of personal items scattered around, but that was probably because Logan was meticulously organized and made sure to keep all his things neatly tucked away. The walls were painted a cool shade of blue, most likely picked out for some psychological reason that Logan could tell him all about if he asked, and on the ceiling there was a large mural painted of the solar system, positioned right above the bed in the middle of the room. On the far right side of the room there was an area dedicated to all of Logan’s experiments, and on the other side was his ‘office space’ where he was currently throwing himself into his work.

Logan didn’t look up as Virgil walked in, barely even faltering in his pen movements. The anxious side stood there awkwardly for a good minute, unsure how exactly to break the unnerving silence, not wanting to just randomly start up a conversation without some kind of starting point. That would just be a setup for disaster.

Just as Virgil was contemplating bolting out of the room, Logan finally put down his pen, turning in his chair to look at the other side.

“What did you need, Virgil?”

“Uh… Patton asked me to check in on you while he went to talk to Roman.” Virgil could see Logan frown slightly at the royal’s name. “I know you wanted to be alone right now, but I- uh, Patton’s not sure if that’s the best for you.”

“I am fine, as I said before. I just want to be alone for now.” Virgil didn’t miss how Logan stressed the ‘alone’. 

“Are Roman’s comments about you being a ‘squadless geek’ and ‘alone’ still getting to you?”

“Of course not. It is highly illogical to let that get to me when clearly I am not alone, as there are three of you living with me.”

Virgil deadpanned, not believing a word. “Look, Logan. I’m sure he didn’t mean it when he that. Like Pat said, it was just in the moment. We all say things we don’t mean when we’re caught up in something we’re passionate about, and obviously that topic was important to Roman.”

Logan shook his head. “No. It wasn’t just in the moment... When I went to Roman’s room to reconcile, he… he said the exact same thing, only more explicitly.”

“What?”

“He said, and I quote, ‘no one wants to be around you when you never listen to them and instead try to use them for your own gain.’” Logan tried to say the words in a cool and impartial tone but couldn’t stop his voice from wavering at the memory of the harsh words slung at him.

Virgil jolted. “What? I’ve gotta go talk to Princey-” He started towards the door before Logan cut him off.

“Please don’t. Getting into an altercation with him would serve to further aggravate things between us, and possibly cause Roman to become angry with you. I am fine. I do not need anyone to go try to talk to him for me.”

Virgil folded his arms. “Well Patton’s already there talking to him… Logan, clearly this is bothering you. Why do you not want us to help you?”

“Because there is no reason. Roman is just letting his emotions get the best of him right now. I will not let mine do the same to me.”

“You’re allowed to feel, Logan. We’ve talked about this.”

“I am aware, however in this situation it is entirely reasonable to not want to engage further and thus draw out the argument.”

“It doesn’t sound like much of an argument to me. It just sounded like Princey was being a dick. Even more dick-ish than usual.”

“I am aware. That’s why I’m waiting for it to blow over. This is unusual for Roman, however it is most likely in response to something in Thomas’ environment. He will return to his normal self soon, and then we can talk out what happened like mature sides. Talking to him now will do no good except harming our potential for reconciliation later.”

Virgil sighed. “Alright, I guess you’re right. He doesn’t get a pass just because he’s having a bad week, though.” 

Logan nodded, about to respond when a knock echoed from the door. Both sides shared a glance, wondering if it was Roman finally come to apologize after getting a good talking to from Patton. Those hopes were quickly shattered when the door opened and Patton slipped in, his demeanour subdued.

“Patton? What happened?” Logan asked, quickly standing up from his chair.

“Nothing, kiddo. I just had a talk with Roman,” Patton said, walking over to Logan’s bed and taking a seat on it, the logical side proceeding to sit down next to him.

“Falsehood. Clearly it is not ‘nothing’.”

“I’m really fine, guys. Roman just said some things- But please don’t be mad at him! I’m sure he’s just going through a rough patch right now.”

“What did Roman say to you?” Virgil butt in.

“...He may have said that I was always taking Logan’s side on things because I’m weak and easily coerced,” Patton recited quickly, like he was trying to get the words out all in one go.

Logan took a deep breath and Virgil looked ready to go to the royal’s room and tear him a new one, the only thing stopping him being Logan’s side glance at him, telling him silently to calm down.

“That is inaccurate, Patton,” Logan started. “You are your own side with your own ideas. You are not taking our side on anything. You are always expressing your own opinion, no matter if it coincides with others or not.”

“I know…” Patton rubbed his arm slowly. “I’m just a bit confused and hurt right now. I know Ro couldn’t mean it though.”

A silence settled across the room, each side trying to take in the new information. After a few minutes Logan finally broke the silence. “I believe it is best from all of us if we leave Roman alone until he comes to his senses. It should not be long before he realizes what he has said and comes to apologize, and then we can take it from there.”

“What if he doesn’t come to his senses?” Virgil asked.

“That is highly improbable. Given past circumstances wherein Roman has been a bit… ‘extra’, it usual passes over in about a week’s time.”

“This isn’t like other times, though. He’s never personally attacked you or Patton before. He can get overbearing and rude, but nothing like this. And a bad week is not an excuse.”

“I never said it was an excuse. It isn’t. However we will get nothing done if we focus only on the past and not on what is currently happening. I am only extrapolating based on what has happened before because it is our only reference point for now. There is nothing else I can think of that would cause such a dramatic tone shift.”

“But then what is the reason? What could Thomas being going through that we don’t know about but affected Roman so badly?” Patton asked.

“I am not sure, but we will figure it out. For now we should just try to keep Thomas as happy as possible and let Roman work it out for himself. He obviously cannot be reasoned with right now. And then once he comes back to us we will let him know that it is unacceptable no matter what to say those types of things.” Logan’s words became twinged with anger at the end.

“Okay, Lo.” Patton placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Now how about we get into our onesies and watch some movies to calm down? It’s been a stressful day and I think we all could use it.”

Logan smiled smally, agreeing.

The rest of the night went off without much more worrying, but it felt off without Roman there with them. They knew they needed to give him space, and none of them wanted to talk with him right then, but…

It still felt like there was a prince sized hole in their dynamic.


	5. Liberated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We check back in and Roman, and he and Thomas have a little chat.

It didn’t pass over in a week. It had been a month since Roman had barricaded himself in his room, and he wasn’t planning on coming out soon. It was almost like he was Thomas back in middle school.

It’s not like he had much of a reason to leave, anyway. The other sides didn’t want to talk to him, and that was fine. They just didn’t understand his creative genius. They didn’t understand that he knew what was best for Thomas, and this was how he had to achieve it. He realized that now.

It was simple, really. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t seen it before.

The other sides were holding Thomas back. They all had their own agenda, and none of them would look at the bigger picture. Roman on the other hand didn’t have an agenda. He just wanted Thomas to be happy. He wanted him to flourish, and get everything he deserved. The others only got in the way of that.

He should never have entertained them before. That just gave them power. Power that only he should have, because only he knew what was best. Only he deserved to hold the reigns.

Roman frowned as he looked at himself in the mirror. He hadn’t been looking like his usual glittery self recently, and it was starting to bother him a bit. It must have been from the added pressure he had valiantly put upon himself in his quest to save Thomas, but that still didn’t make it any more unsightly. Even if he wasn’t talking the the others anymore, he still thought he should look good for himself. Besides, he did need to talk to Thomas soon, and showing up looking like a train wreck would do no good for his image.

He pulled his makeup kit from off the floor, ignoring the layer of green mist covering it. The mist was a new addition to his room, showing up just before his new revelation and covering his floor, but he didn’t think much of it.  _ It was no big deal. Probably just some residual stuff hanging around. He had bigger things to worry about. _

He began by covering the dark bags under his eyes, not wanting to accidentally resemble Virgil in his sleeplessness. His sleeping schedule had gotten all kinds of messed up recently, and it was showing. There was simply no time to sleep when he could be drafting ideas, coming up with new and exciting innovations, and figuring out the best way to propel Thomas to the top. 

Plus, he really didn’t want to have that one dream again. Just the thought of seeing Thomas that decrepit and lost again sent a shiver down his spine.

Once that mess was covered up, he moved on to his eyes. In his room, with the glow of the green mist coating the floor, he could almost swear that they looked green rather than their usual brown. It was off putting to him in a way he couldn’t explain, but he quickly forgot about it, moving on from his eyes and to his outfit.

The princely attire was not looking so good. He hadn’t done laundry in forever, not wanting to risk running into anyone. He might be able to fix it with a wave of his hand, but his summoning abilities recently had been… lacking. 

Again, he attributed it to his activities wearing him thin.

He didn’t entertain the thought that maybe he should cut back and focus on himself for a little bit. That’s what lazy people did. You take one break and then you’ve fallen behind and soon you begin making all kinds of excuses for why you can’t do something. Roman wasn’t going to fall into that trap. 

In the end, Roman decided to not bother with his outfit. So what if it was a little wrinkled? No one would even notice. 

He pushed himself away from his vanity, sighing. His bed was looking very alluring right now, but the niggling in his mind was telling him that he still needed to do more. Perhaps talk to Thomas. He hadn’t done that since the Morning video, instead taking the more subtle approach. It wasn’t his usual style, but everything told him that it was better to stay on the down low for a little while before. 

So far it was working brilliantly. Thomas had gotten quite a few videos out recently, and they all seemed to be getting quite a bit more clicks than usual. Still not as much as he could be, but they were getting there.

Maybe now would be a good time to speed things up, though.

He had so many ideas he wanted to run by Thomas. So many new ideas and tactics to elevate his videos to the next level. It was astounding to him that he’d never thought of them before. It was like a mental barrier had suddenly been lifted, and now he knew exactly what to do to better Thomas!

He had never felt more liberated! And tired... But mostly liberated!

Roman took a deep breath, focusing in on Thomas to figure out what he was doing currently. It seemed he was just sitting in bed scrolling through tumblr, not doing anything productive. Perfect! That gave Roman ample time to talk with him. 

He sunk out of his room, appearing in Thomas’ own. It was a bit tougher when he wasn’t being actively summoned there by Thomas’ accord, but it was worth it.

“Thomas!”

“Oh, Roman!” Thomas startled, putting down his phone. “I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve been meaning to summon you but have never had the time.”

“But you were just browsing tumblr?”

“Yes, very important work. Anyway, what was the reason you came up? Was it to also talk about the videos recently?” Thomas stood up from his bed, moving closer to Roman so that he wasn’t awkwardly sitting in bed while his fanciful side was towering over him and monologuing.

“Exactly!” Roman exclaimed. “I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength here, Thomas! I think that what we have been doing recently has been working well, however there is a lot more that we could be doing and I wanted to talk to you about these ideas and begin implementing them.”

Thomas frowned, scrunching his face up. “Roman… I’ve been feeling the exact opposite. I don’t think my videos have been all that great recently... I’ve been feeling really burnout lately, and I think all of our fans are noticing it as well. I’ve been pulling a lot of long nights trying to get them right, but all the videos seem a bit… gimmicky, in a way? People have been saying that they don’t have that usual soul put into them.”

“And you’re just going to believe all them? Who cares what they think.” Roman waved a hand dismissively.

“Roman, they’re our fans! Shouldn’t we be listening to them and giving them what they want?”

“We are! What do you think I’ve been doing? All these videos are what the fans want! They want a consistent upload schedule. They want a person who can be onboard with the most recent trends. Sure, your other videos are fine, but to really get your numbers up you need to be more in line with what  _ others _ want.”

Thomas bit his lip. “Roman, that doesn’t sound like you. Is everything okay?” He made a motion like he was about to reach out to the creative side before stopping halfway through, lamely putting his hand back down.

“Of course everything is okay, Thomas. I’ve just come to a realization recently. You need to apply your creativity in different ways, or else your channel is going to fail. It’s just common sense. Youtubers who refuse to adapt and change with the times will inevitably become less popular. We don’t want that, Thomas. We want to become better, reach more people, be famous!”

“...Is that what I want, or what you want?”

“It’s what  _ we  _ want, Thomas. I  _ am  _ you. We’re in this together, and I know what is best for us.”

“And what’s best for us is doing what everyone else is already doing? What happened to wanting to be original?”

“Original doesn’t pay the bills, Thomas. Vincent Van Gogh was original, and everyone hated him until he died broke and alone missing an ear!”

“Pay the bills- what? Roman, what are you talking about? We’re fine. I’m not about to be evicted out onto the streets.”

“But for how long? How long will you stay relevant if you refuse to change? Just listen to me, Thomas.  _ I know what I’m doing. I’m your creativity. You should be listening to me. So what if no one else agrees? This is what’s best for us. _ ”

Thomas shifted back slightly. “Roman… Maybe I should call the others in here-” He made a move to summon them.

“ **Don’t** call them,” Roman snarled, stopping Thomas in his tracks. “They’re using you, Thomas. I’m the one helping you here. All they want is for you to do things that will inevitably kill your channel. Logic doesn’t want you to spend more time on your videos. Morality wants you to waste your time doing whatever you want without any regards to your passions. Anxiety doesn’t even want you to make videos at all! And they all want you to spend more time with your  _ friends. _ ” He spat out the last word.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Thomas took a few steps back.

“Remember what I said, Thomas? Only spend time with specific friends who can help you achieve your dreams. Everyone else is just holding you back.”

“Roman, that’s not-”

“I can see you’re not going to listen to reason, Thomas, so I’m going to do this. I didn’t want to, but if I must, I must. I won’t be giving you any more ideas if you won’t listen to me. I’m not going to give you the tools you needs to make yourself a  _ failure _ .”

“Roman-”

“Call me when you’re ready to actually go somewhere with your life, Thomas.”

Roman sunk out.

That did not go according to plan, but it was fine. He would just have to make Thomas understand using some tough love. After a few days of being creatively dead he’d come crawling back to Roman, begging to implement his ideas.

Then it’d be his time to shine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I couldn't resist the gay joke at the beginning. I have too many of them in my arsenal that I just need to use.
> 
> I'm not sorry about this chapter, though ;)
> 
>  
> 
> (Also, quick reminder that this is an alternate timeline. I am not bashing Thomas' recent videos, I absolutely loved them. This is all made up!)


	6. Murphy's Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter you've all been waiting for, with a little surprise at the end ;)
> 
> Trigger warning for sickness and talk about major character death. I don't think it's too bad, but please be careful if that is worrying for you.

The sides sat in the commons, a tense silence surrounding them. The month mark of Roman’s exile had hit, and none of them knew what to do.

Patton finally broke the silence. “This isn’t working.”

Logan sighed, rubbing his face harshly. “I don’t understand it. Roman should have come to his senses by now. Instead everything just seems worse!”

“Maybe we were wrong about it just being a phase. Maybe this is just how Princey is now?” Virgil suggested lamely, his voice not holding much conviction.

“It wouldn’t have been such an abrupt turn if that were the case. We would have seen signs, ideas, anything that could have told us that Roman would decide to lock himself away and antagonize us…”

“Well, now that we’ve cooled off maybe we can-” Patton was cut off as Logan put a hand up.

“I’m sorry, Patton, but Thomas is calling me. We can finish this conversation after I ask him what he needs.”

The father figure nodded, and Logan sunk out, appearing before Thomas. Before he could even get a word in edgewise, he was cut off.

“Logan… Roman’s not right,” Thomas said quickly, almost like he was trying to force the words out.

Logan sighed. “We are aware, Thomas. He was been in a bad mood for the past month, and does not seem willing to listen to us. We have been giving him his space to come back to himself, however-” Logan started, carding a hand through his hair.

“No! I talked to him and- that… that’s not Roman! That wasn’t him. He isn’t like that.”

“Yes, he is not acting like himself,” Logan explained patiently.

“No! I mean that literally is not Roman!”

“Thomas, you’re being absurd. Of course that is Roman.”

“No, he’s gotta be like… Deceit, or something!”

“I hardly doubt Deceit would strike so soon after his first appearance, and if he _was_ acting as Roman, he would not be so… out of character. He takes pride in mimicking someone well and not arousing suspicion.”

“Okay, but- I don’t know, Logan! I’m creatively dead! Something has to be wrong!”

“I understand, Thomas, and Patton, Virgil, and I are going to figure it out. We’ve been putting this off for too long, and I’m sorry. I thought it would sort itself out, but now I see that I was wrong.”

“It’s… not your fault, Logan. I just don’t know what to do. Nothing I ever do creatively seems like enough, but everything I put out just seems awful. People seem to like it, but I just hate it.”

“So why not do something else, then?”

“Because that’s all that Roman is giving me! He’s the one pitching all these ideas, and- Logan, Roman told me that if I wasn’t going to listen to him anymore then he wasn’t going to give me any new ideas at all…”

“What?” Logan blinked, looking shell shocked. “That… That shouldn’t be possible. Roman is creativity. He can’t stop creating. He’d…” Logan trailed off.

“He’d what?”

“He’d… begin to fade, if that was the case… Thomas, how long ago was your conversation?”

“Like… three days ago?” Thomas said sheepishly.

Logan’s eyes widened. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He demanded.

“I- I don’t know, I just… I kept fighting back and forth about it. I knew I needed to talk to you about it, but then there was the thought that it wasn’t important, and I just needed to listen to Roman and not bother you guys.”

Logan furrowed his brow, looking almost confused as he said, “He’s manipulating you…”

“What?”

“He’s manipulating you by putting overt thoughts in your head, rather than suggestions. It’s something that all of us agreed never to do unless absolutely necessary in order to give you  the free will to decide things for yourself, and not force decisions on you. It is also extremely taxing on ourselves to do it. The only ones who don’t follow the pact are the Dark Sides…”

“What are you saying, Logan?”

He bit his lip. “I don’t know. But… we need to talk to Roman right away. Thank you for telling me this, Thomas, I know it’s tough going against a direct thought, but you did the right thing here.” Logan quickly sunk out, appearing in the mindscape’s commons immediately, startling both Patton and Virgil.

“I have reason to believe Roman is in danger.” Logan started without preamble.

Virgil blinked. “What? What happened? Did you talk to him? Did Thomas say-”

“No,” Logan cut him off. “I just talked with a very distraught Thomas who has relayed to me that Roman had confronted him about the state of their videos recently, and when Thomas would not listen to his ideas, he said that he was going to stop performing his job. That was three days ago.”

Patton jolted. “What?! Oh my gosh, we need to talk to him, that’s, that’s-” He jumped up, pulling Virgil up along with him, who looked similarly shocked.

“Why would he do that?” Virgil asked.

“I don’t know, but Thomas believes that something is terribly wrong, and I can’t help but agree. Maybe he has come down with something or is going through some sort of crisis- I don’t know.” Logan stumbled over his words a bit. “I do believe we’ve only made the situation worse by ignoring it, however. I thought this was something that would pass over, but I made a grave misjudgement. We should have been there for him, if he went to extremes such as this without our assistance.”

“Logan…” Patton trailed off. “It’s okay- I… I don’t know what’s going on with Roman, but it’s not our fault for reacting the way we did. He said some mean things to us. Right now though, I think we need to put that aside. We can come back to it later, but it sounds like he needs us right now, and we can’t get caught up on anything else when he’s in danger.”

Logan nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry. I’m not feeling very clear headed right now. I don’t think Thomas is after the confrontation, either. Let’s just go talk to Roman. I’m sure we can come to some sort of… resolution. Or at least figure out what is happening.”

Virgil bit his lip. Something that seemed as big as this didn’t seem like it would be such an easy fix that a simple conversation would solve. He wasn’t going to say anything and make Logan any more scatterbrained than he already was, though. In hectic situations, logic usually got thrown out the window, and it was clear the logical side was feeling that.

Virgil took the helm, leading the other sides up the stairs and to Roman’s room. He knocked on his door, Patton and Logan trailing behind him. He didn’t blame them for subconsciously wanting to keep their distance after hearing what had happened last time, even though they resolved to put that behind them for now.

“Roman. It’s us. We need to talk,” Virgil called through the door.

There was no response.

Virgil frowned. “Roman?” Still nothing.

“Perhaps he is sleeping?” Logan suggested.

“He’d have woken up by now, he’s not that heavy of a sleeper,” Patton said, worrying his lip between his teeth.

“Well if he’s not answering, then we’re just going to have to sink in,” Virgil said.

“Isn’t that kind of an invasion of privacy?” Patton asked.

“Maybe it is, but you kind of ignore that if it’s an extreme situation, right? At least that’s what you did for me,” Virgil mumbled under his breath.

“I agree with Virgil, it may be a bit unorthodox, but this situation clearly calls for it.”

“Alright…” Patton said reluctantly. He knew what it was like to have people going into his room without permission, and it definitely wasn’t the best feeling, but he knew that now was not the time to worry about that.

All three sunk down, popping up in Roman’s room. Immediately they all took a step back, shocked by the fine green mist that covered the floor, but there was nowhere on the ground to avoid it, and they only succeeded in stepping back further into the green haze.

The second thing to catch their eye was Roman, leaning of his vanity table and glaring at them.

“What are you doing in my room?”

He looked an absolute mess, even worse than the last time Logan and Patton had seen him. He also looked deathly pale, seeming almost unsteady on his feet like a breeze could knock him over.

“Roman, we came here to help you,” Virgil said. “I know we’ve been ignoring you because you’ve said some frankly rude things, but we’ve let this go too far. You’re hurting yourself and Thomas. You’re going to kill yourself on some foolish quest to do- I don’t even know what.”

Roman brought a hand up to his chest with an offended gasp. “I’m not _hurting_ Thomas. I’m helping him. You guys are the ones holding him back. I’m the only one here looking out for his well being.”

“Falsehood. Thomas has never been more dissatisfied at any other point in his life with his creative endeavours than right now. You are clearly not helping him. What made you think that any of this was _helping?!”_ Logan’s voice took on an unusually emotional tone, almost cracking at the end of his sentence. “Please tell us what is wrong, Roman.”

“I’ve already told you! I’m not going to repeat myself! You all know what I’m doing, and you’re just trying to hold me back! Well I’ve got news for you: I’m not going to let any of you trample over me any more. We’re doing this my way, or I’m sinking this ship myself.”

The other sides were about to respond to his attempts of rebuff him, when suddenly the creative side doubled over, putting a hand to his chest and coughing loudly. Virgil moved like he was going to go to the other side and try and help him, put Roman put his hand up, stopping him.

“I’m okay,” he said through coughing, slowly getting his breath back. “I know what you’re going to say, and you’re wrong. It’s just a stupid cough. The only thing bothering me right now is you guys and your stupid concerns about me. I know what I’m doing.”

“Roman, clearly you’re not! You can’t just not do your job, it’s going to kill you!” Patton cried out.

“I’m going to be fine. I just need to keep going for a few more days, and then Thomas will listen to me once he realizes I’m not backing down.” Roman gripped the vanity tighter, like he was using it to hold himself up.

“You might not last a few days, Roman. From what I can sense, this creativity drain has been going on for the last month, and this protest of yours has only exasperated the problem and rapidly sped it up,” Logan said desperately. “I’m not sure how long it will be before you fade if you don’t do anything.”

“Then I’ll have died a hero.” Roman looked up, causing Virgil to gasp and step back, pulling Logan and Patton behind him, both of whom looked similarly confused.

“Roman, why are your eyes green?” Virgil asked, panicked.

“What are you talking about?” Roman asked, his green irises shining back at them.

Virgil’s eyes quickly flitted down to the mist, then back up to Roman’s eyes, before his own eyes widened in realization and he yelled, “Get out of the mist!”

He pulled Logan and Patton with him, climbing onto Roman’s ornate bed and pulling up his legs so that they’d be out of the green fog. Logan and Patton did the same, not questioning the anxious side when he clearly knew more than they did.

“Virgil, what’s going on?” Asked Patton. “Who- Who is-?”

“That’s Roman, but he’s not in control anymore,” Virgil said gravely.

“Then who is?” Logan asked.

“Greed."

  


 

 

“Oh, Greed is such a _negative_ name. I much prefer the name Avarice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)
> 
> (You don't know how long I've been sitting on that picture waiting for the right moment to add it.)


	7. Faucet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes to a head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Talk of character death and some mild violence. It’s not bad, but be safe.

“What are you doing here,  _ Greed _ ?” Virgil snarled out.

“I thought you’d be more respectful of using people’s chosen names,  _ Virgil, _ ” Avarice complained, his voice dripping with false softness.

“What did you do to Roman? Why did you take his place?” Patton cried out. He looked like he was about to jump off the bed, but the mist was still preventing them from getting any closer.

“Oh, I didn’t take his place. I’m not  _ Deceit.  _ Why, I barely did anything. I just gave him a little push.” Avarice chuckled, moving so that the sides could see Roman behind him. 

He was just… standing there. His eyes were still green, and he seemed to be barely registering Avarice’s presence. Instead he was glaring at the sides, the same contempt in them as before the dark side’s reveal.

“Roman!” Patton called out, leaning forward like he could reach out, hold him, and make everything better, but before he could do anything rash Virgil threw a hand out, preventing the moral side from accidentally falling into Avarice’s trap.

“Don’t,” he said curtly. “You can’t do anything, Patton. Greed can take ahold of your mind and put thoughts into it that are impossible to ignore. Roman won’t see reason.”

Patton gaped at Virgil. “What? How did we not…?” They all knew about the Dark Sides and who they were, but what they were capable of was still an absolute mystery to them. The idea that they could manipulate them like that without them knowing was simply inconceivable, though.

“I’m not about to let you in on all my secrets,” Avarice butt in. “I am capable of many more things than any of you are aware of.”

“Why are you doing this? What could you possibly gain from this?” Logan asked while trying to keep a calm facade.

“Why do any of you do what you do? I’m just trying to help Thomas.” He put a hand over his heart mockingly. “And if I need to collaborate with Creativity to do it, then so be it.”

“You’re not collaborating with him! You’re controlling him!” Virgil yellled.

“Oh please, it’s not controlling. He’s still himself. I’m just there helping him along.” Avarice leaned on his cane, looking so falsely innocent it was sickening. “I don’t want you to besmirch my good name, Anxiety.”

“You know damn well and good that your  _ name _ means nothing but trouble,” Virgil all but growled, baring his teeth. It seemed like fight or flight had started to kick in again, and while before it was flight to the bed, now it was time for fight. “I’m not going to let you hurt my family.”

“I’m not trying to hurt your family. I just want the best for all of you. For Thomas. I don’t know why I’m cast out as a ‘Dark Side’ just because of that.”

Tears welled up in Patton’s eyes. “You hurt us. You tore us apart,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “You made us abandon him.”

“I didn’t make you do anything. You  _ chose  _ to do that yourself.”

“Falsehood. You made Roman say those awful things to us to push us away. Do not blame us for trying to remove toxic influences from our lives. You are trying to flip this back onto us, but it will not work,” Logan cut in, but he could already see the damage Avarice’s harsh words had inflicted on Patton. He did feel partially responsible for not noticing Roman’s condition at first and letting it get this far, but he couldn’t focus on that right now. That would just be letting Avarice win.

He took a deep breath. This situation was getting too chaotic, and he needed to think clearly or else nothing would be solved. It was tough with the every looming fear and logic previously having been throw out the window by Thomas, but now it was time to take control of the situation again.

He quickly scanned the room, ignoring whatever Avarice was saying to antagonize them in the background. There wasn’t much around that would be useful to them. The door was situated behind Avarice and Roman, and about ten feet away, so there was no chance of getting to that unharmed. It was possible that they could sink out, but they could only do that if they were on the ground, which was currently impossible with the mist. He wasn’t sure what the green fog would do to them if they came into contact with it, but he could only guess by Virgil’s reaction that it would not be favorable.

On their left side was Roman’s vanity, which would be simple enough to leap to and avoid the ground. It wasn’t close enough to the door, but it would get them closer to Roman. He wasn’t sure what they could do to try and stop them, but it was better than sitting on the bed arguing until someone slipped up.

It was almost like an advanced version of The Ground is Lava, where the punishment for failure would be something far, far worse.

Just as Logan was about to implement his plan- which wasn’t much of a plan, but it was all he had right now- Patton shoot him a look from the corner of his eye. He seemed to be apologizing.

Logan’s eyes widened in realization as he quickly tried to grab at the moral side, but his reflexes weren’t as fast as Virgil’s. 

Patton jumped off the bed, the mist lapping up his legs as soon as they touched the ground. 

He stepped closer to Roman, and to Logan’s surprise, Avarice just seemed to let him. Each step seemed to pain him, though, his face contorted and a hand brought up to his head like it was killing him.

Logan took a sharp breath. Of course. It was the mist. The mist was what was allowing Avarice to control Roman. His power probably couldn’t work without a physical outlet for it. Roman had left the room to talk to Thomas before, but that was only after a month of being in it and having it weaken his resistance enough that leaving it wouldn’t break the hold it had over him..

And now that Patton was in it, he was Avarice’s next victim.

He could feel Virgil tense next to him. “Virgil, don’t.” Logan whispered under his breath. “Let Patton do this.”

“I’m not going to give in,” Patton said to seemingly nothing. “You’re not right. Thomas doesn’t need that.” Tears were dripping down his face.

“I can’t-” Virgil was shaking. “He’s going to end up just like Roman… I need to go help him… I can handle it better, he… he can’t.”

Logan nodded reluctantly. “Alright. Just create a distraction while doing it, then.” Logan whispered. 

“What?”

“Just trust me, Virgil. Get his attention away.”

Virgil nodded, breathing in to regain the fight he had in him. 

Patton fell over, and Logan swore he could see a glint of fear in Roman’s eyes, a twitch of his hands like he wanted to go and help his friend up.

“PATTON!” Virgil yelled, dragging Avarice’s attention away from the aforementioned side. It was soon back on him, though, as Virgil launched himself at the moral side, stepping into the mist. 

Logan took the opportunity as Avarice’s gaze turned to meet the other sides to jump over to the vanity. He tripped slightly but managed to keep his footing and not make enough sound to drag the dark side’s attention to him. He doubted even if he did make a sound that he would notice, as the others were making quite a spectacle.

Virgil had pulled Patton up over the mist, holding him in a bridal carry. The mist licked at his legs like flames, trying to get both of them in it’s hold, and Logan realized what exactly the anxious side was doing. He was making Avarice aim all his power to the mist by them  to try and corrupt him and Patton, meaning that now stepping in the mist would most likely not affect him. 

It was a gamble, but it was his only hope right now. The odds were in his favor, unlike actual gambling, and so he wasn’t one to knock the odds, so he slowly put his foot down, feeling the mist surrounding his toes like a cool breeze. 

He braced himself for a few moments, but nothing happened. There were no mysterious voices whispering in his mind and he felt clear headed as ever.

Immediately Logan pushed himself off the vanity and onto the ground, using his momentum to begin running over to Roman. 

If he could just get to him then he could bring him to Thomas. Thomas would be able to fix this. He had to.

But before he could do anything, Roman collapsed. His skin was now completely ashen, and his breaths ragged as he tried to take in air to no avail. The lack of creativity had taken its toll on him. He couldn’t survive much longer like this.

“It seems you’re too late,” Avarice said, jolting Logan out of his focus on the limp form of his friend. The thump of him falling onto the ground must have called his attention. The dark side was about to say more, but was cut off as he was thrown to the ground.

Patton had launched himself out of Virgil’s hold, tackling Avarice to the ground. “NO ONE HURTS MY FAMILY!” His gaze turned to Logan for half a second. “Get Roman and get out!” 

Logan nodded, scooping Roman up. He shot one last look at Patton struggling to keep Avarice down and Virgil still fighting off the effects of the mist. He couldn’t help them right now, but he could help Roman.

He sunk out, and rose up in Thomas’ room,  making sure his grip on the fanciful side was secure. Thomas jumped, not expecting them so suddenly. He was in the middle of eating dinner, but that was unimportant right then.

“Thomas, I need you to fix Roman,” Logan said without preamble.

“What?! What’s wrong?” Thomas stood up, scraping the legs of his chair on the ground with the force.

“We figured out what happened. One of the dark sides got to him. Only you can fix him.”

“Fix him? Fix him how? What do I do?” Thomas ran his hand through his hair, trying to find some kind of outlet for his panic. Logan worried what exactly was happening to Virgil right then, but he knew he couldn’t focus on that. Roman was top priority.

“He’s a part of you, Thomas. He  _ is  _ you. You have control over yourself. Anything you want to happen  _ can  _ happen.

“I don’t- I can’t think of anything, Logan! I need Roman for my ideas!”

“Thomas. Look at me.” He locked eyes with the host. “You are more than Roman. You are more than all of us. We are constructs of your mind, Thomas. We represent different facets of your personality, but that’s not all that you are. Roman is right here in front of you. Your creativity is here. You can lock onto it and use it. Roman- he’s just a conduit for it. Just like I’m a conduit for logic, and just like Virgil is for anxiety and Patton is for morality. 

“If you truly want to, you can be independent from us. I know it’s hard, but it’s what we need right now, Thomas. Find that creativity within you. Roman can’t block you out if you really want to. Not when he hasn’t ducked out. 

“You are your own person. I… I believe in you, Thomas.”

Logan could almost feel tears welling up in his eyes, but that was illogical.

Thomas nodded. “Alright. Thank you, Logan.” He closed his eyes, grabbing onto Roman’s limp hand, digging deep inside himself.

He collected all of his creative memories, connecting on that feeling and trying to transfer it into Roman. The feeling inside of him whenever he created videos, when he put on a play, when he wrote scripts. All of it was Roman. He began to think of new ideas, capturing their spirit and willing it into the side with all his might.

He just needed to spark his creativity. He needed to show that it was still there under everything Avarice had done. Then he could get Roman back.

For one fraction of a second Logan allowed himself to be illogical and worry that maybe this wasn’t going to work. Then-

“What? Thomas? Logan? I- Oh my gosh. I… I can think clearly.”

There was the sound of tears hitting the ground. They weren’t Roman’s. 


	8. Dissociation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Virgil versus Avarice. Roman versus recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for physical fighting, panic attacks, and dissociation. Please be safe.

Logan sunk out, and suddenly it was just Patton, Virgil, and Avarice left alone in Roman’s room.

Patton’s still had Avarice on his back, pinning him to the ground as best he could, but he didn’t know how long he’d be able to hold him. The slam to the ground had shaken Avarice’s connection to the mist, but it was still not enough to get Virgil out of his hold, and without his help Patton was fighting a losing battle. 

He tried to assess his options quickly, taking a page from Logan’s book. He couldn’t hold Avarice down forever, so he either had to attempt to knock him out, thus stopping his influencing power, or get rid of the mist in some way, lest he’d just end up taking control again.

The idea of hurting Avarice enough to make him fall unconscious was uncomfortable, but the idea of what he had done to Roman and how he was still now hurting Virgil won over in Patton’s mind. No one hurt his famILY and got away with it.

Patton was about try and knock him unconscious when Avarice got the upper hand. He managed to push Patton back, causing the moral side to topple back into the mist.

Patton immediately scrambled back, getting onto the bed just in time before Avarice could right himself and focus his energy on the mist, but it was an extremely close call that had the dad’s heart pumping.

In Avarice’s attempt to corrupt him, however, his grasp on Virgil weakened. The anxious side immediately grabbed him into a choke hold, using the few inches he had on him to his advantage. 

Avarice kicked back at him, hitting him in the knee and causing him to falter, giving Avarice the advantage and letting him wretch his way out of the hold.

Avarice lifted his hand to his throat impulsively, rubbing it and taking a few deep breaths to gain his air back. Patton took this moment of reprieve to grab him by the shoulder. Virgil caught on and grabbed his other, and then they both pushed him down to the ground with their combined strength.

Just as Patton was about to slam his head on the ground and hope that it hurt enough to make his pass out, Avarice suddenly just seemed to give up, all the energy leaving him in an instant. Patton pulled back in shock. He stayed like that for a few moment, then jumped as he felt a hand on his back. He whirled around, but when he saw that it was just Virgil the tension left his shoulders.

As he looked around the room, he noticed that the green mist had suddenly disappeared, and Roman’s room was looking exactly how it did before everything happened.  It was a nice sight, but it made Patton’s heart hurt slightly. 

“Logan did it…” He said hoarsely. 

“The connection breaking must have hurt him,” Virgil guessed, squatting down to look at the Dark Side and poking him cautiously. He was knocked cleanly out, not even twitching. 

Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, Patton just felt tired, guilty, and afraid. Not guilty about hurting Avarice- he had deserved that. He felt guilty about shutting Roman out. Of not seeing the signs. It was so obvious in hindsight that he wasn’t himself, but Patton was just too blind to see it. Logan had been too close to the drama to have been expected to see anything, and Virgil hadn’t even talked to Roman, so clearly Patton was the one who had missed everything. 

“It’s okay, Pat. Roman’s safe now. Logan has him,” Virgil said, directing his attention away from Avarice.

“But he wasn’t safe. And we didn’t know.” Patton’s voice cracked. “I’m supposed to be the dad, and I failed him.”

“You didn’t fail him, dad. We saved him. He’s okay.”

Patton shook his head but didn’t say anything.

Virgil sighed. “Worrying about what has already happened is my job, Pat. Please don’t get caught up in trying to blame yourself. You need to be there for Roman right now. You can talk with him after, and I’m sure he’ll say it wasn’t anything you did, alright?”

Patton nodded minutely. “Alright. I just… I need to go to my room first. To rest.” To cry.

Patton sunk out, leaving Virgil with Avarice’s unconscious form.

 

\----

 

Roman shot up with a gasp. Where was he? Wasn’t he with Logan? He thought he was, but now he was on a bed. Did he dream that? He couldn’t have. What was going on?

“Roman! Roman, calm down, you’re going to give yourself a panic attack.” 

“I… I don't…” Roman blinked, trying to figure out who was comforting him. He looked to his right, seeing glasses and a tie. Logan. Of course it was Logan.

He tried to take a few deep breaths but everything felt wrong, and he couldn’t seem to get enough oxygen.

“Roman, everything is okay. You are in my room. You passed out from exhaustion and so I brought you here. Thomas is okay, he’s back out in the real world. Patton and Virgil are resting right now. It is okay,” Logan attempted to comfort him.

“I-I…” Roman tried to speak.

“Don’t try to talk right now. Just focus on your breathing. In for four seconds, hold for five, out for seven.” Roman nodded jerkily. Logan took his hand, giving him something to focus on as he breathed in and out.

It took a few minutes, but finally he seemed to come back to his senses.

“Are you feeling better?” Logan asked.

“Yeah… I, I think. Everything feels weird…” Roman confessed. His whole world felt like it was swimming. His movements felt detached from himself, like he still wasn’t controlling them.

“Weird how?”

“I… don’t know.” Roman did know, but he couldn’t describe it. Everything felt so wrong after a month of being disconnected.

Oh god, a month. He was like that for a month. 

All the memories of that time seemed to flood back to him. He had repressed them deep down, but now they were all back and here to torment him. 

He had done such awful things. He had hurt everyone. He had nearly died…

He had nearly died and left Thomas without his creativity.

He had hurt Thomas, the person he had sworn to protect with all his might.

All because he was weak. 

Roman could hear Logan calling to him in the background, but it was all muffled.

He could see Logan’s fingers digging into his palm, trying to drag him back to reality, but he couldn’t feel them. Roman tried to move his own fingers one by one, and they felt disconnected from him. Like they weren’t his own. 

It was like being back under that oppressive fog that he had been in for the past month. It was comforting in an awful but familiar way. He felt fear and panic, but it was all numbed. 

Roman didn’t know how long the feeling lasted. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. Finally, though, he came down from it all. 

He tried to realign himself with his surroundings, feelin everything swimming sightly. He took a few deep breaths, feeling the weight of Logan’s hand in his own. He summoned the strength to squeeze it.

Logan immediately shot up. “Roman? Are you back with me? Can you talk?”

“I’m… I don’t know. I’m…”

“It’s okay. I believe you were experiencing dissociation, Roman. It can be common after traumatizing events.”

“Dissociation?”

“A feeling of disconnect with your body. It can be characterized by feeling like you are watching yourself in a movie or a loss of short term memory.”

Roman blinked. “I… Sorry…”

“Do not apologize over something you have no control over.”

Roman nodded weakly. After a moment’s pause he began to look around.

“Why did you bring me to your room?”

“I assumed that you would not want to go back to the place you unwillingly spent the past month trapped in, and decided that my room was the most neutral place you could be.” Logan readjusted his glasses.

Roman nodded. “Right… Thank you.” He paused. “What- What happened? I don’t remember much after you… came into my room.”

Logan took a deep breath. “Virgil, Patton, and I managed to figure out that you were being controlled. We managed to escape the same fate ourselves. Virgil and Patton distracted Avarice, and I went over to your side when you suddenly collapsed. Patton tackled Avarice, and I brought you to Thomas. He stopped the lack of creativity from eating away at you,” Logan summarized.

“Oh…” Roman trailed off. That was a lot to take in in such rapid succession. 

“What do you want to do now, Roman?” Logan asked.

“I... think I want to rest…” Roman said, sinking back down into Logan’s bed. He didn’t want to think anymore. He just wanted to put all this behind him and sleep.

“If that is what you would like, then please rest. You need to recoup your energy after such a taxing debacle. I will be here when you wake up.”

“Thank you, Logan.” 

“No thanks needed.”

“I’m sorry for everything,” he mumbled under his breath, too low for the logical side to hear. He meant it from the bottom of his heart. Nothing he could do could make up for what had happened, but he could at least start trying now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter! Sorry this one took a bit to get out. Like Roman almost did in this fic, my creativity died. (Bad joke, I know.)


	9. Epilogue

A week had passed since everything happened, and nothing was the same.

Roman ended up terrified that Avarice was going to come back. Anything green immediately set off red flags. Anything that even vaguely resembled an out of character thought in his head set him into a panic.

He knew he shouldn’t be feeling this way- he was a prince, for goodness sake! He had faced worse and gotten through unscathed!

And yet he couldn’t help it. 

Something about this situation was just so different.

He felt used and controlled and so, so guilty. He blamed himself so much that it was hard to handle, and none of the others understood.

He had managed to explain everything that had happened to the others, but even that was was near impossible. It was like a Herculean task that took so much out of him that he didn’t know if it would come back.

A lot of things felt like they wouldn’t come back. 

He feared his creativity wouldn’t be the same as it once was. Even now he was still sick,  his creative energy lacking. Even if there was enough to keep him going, it was only the bare minimum. 

He knew it wouldn’t be forever, but for now it felt so far away, and it hurt. Like his entire being was gone, and he couldn’t find it no matter how hard he looked.

It had to be there though. Thomas had made sure of that.

And that was a whole nother problem.

Thomas. 

Roman couldn’t bring himself to talk to Thomas. He feared that if he did, everything would come spilling out, and he’d have no way to take any of it back.

He’d rather just avoid it. Not have to think about anything until it all went away and he could be himself again. But that was impossible. There were reminders all around. 

Reminders in the way that Patton’s shoulders seemed weighed down in guilt. Reminders in how Logan closed himself off. Reminders in how Virgil checked everywhere, seeming more on guard than ever before. There were even reminders in how the others tiptoed around their words, trying NOT to say anything to remind him.

It all came to a head during Movie Night. The first one with all of them in months.

Roman was on the couch, Logan to his right and Patton to his left. Virgil was sat on the ground. It was vaguely reminiscent of their past movie marathons, but it lacked the same warmth and feeling. They weren’t cuddled up together, or commenting on funny things happening in the movie. They was just… there.

Something inside of Roman broke at the sight. A voice in his head, one that he was positive was his own, was yelling at him that nothing would ever change if he didn’t do something.

“Are we just… never going to talk about it?” Roman asked, breaking the silence that had fallen upon them. He didn’t care that he was talking over the movie. He didn’t think anyone was really watching it, anyway.

“What?” Patton jolted, taking his eyes away from the screen. Logan and Virgil turned towards him as well, Virgil grabbing the remote and pausing the TV.

“Are we just going to avoid the subject of Avarice forever?” Roman expanded.

“Roman, what are you saying? You explained the whole situation to us already. We’ve addressed it,” Logan said.

“No we haven’t! I’ve explained it, but we don’t acknowledge it! You’re all trying to act like nothing has changed, but it has! It has and we all know it!”

“He’s right,” Virgil spoke up, not looking up at them. “Things have changed. We can’t ignore it. The Dark Sides are being more aggressive, and we’re all away of it. If we ignore what happened, we’re only opening ourselves up for situations like this in the future.”

Roman sighed. “Yes, that, but I meant… Us. We’ve all changed but we refuse to accept it… I don’t… Lack of communication is what got us to this point. My lack of telling you when things were off…”

Patton placed a hand on his shoulder. “Roman, you can’t blame yourself-”

“Then what are you doing?” Roman accused. “You’re blaming yourself for not noticing!

Patton flinched back. “I… It’s not the same! I should have noticed something, but I didn’t! You couldn’t possibly have noticed anything because no one even knew that could happen!”

“Except me,” Virgil said softly. “I failed to say anything about what the Dark Sides can do, and put you in danger because of it…”

“Everyone stop this,” Logan cut in, silencing anyone else from trying to shift the blame back onto themself. “Putting guilt solely on your shoulders is exactly what Roman was addressing. No one is at fault here except Avarice, because he is the one who did it. No one else had a hand in it. Additionally, acting like nothing has changed when we are clearly all still feeling emotions regarding the situation is hurting everyone. Like Roman said, a lack of communication is what caused this, and we can’t have that happen again.”

And just like that, the argument was over as soon as it began. No one could argue with Logan’s point.

Instead, they finally began to talk through it all. Truly talk about it, not just skim the surface. The conversation went all through the night, movies and sleep forgotten in the torrent of emotions. And thus began the process of healing. After a week of worry, guilt, and pain, everything was finally out in the open. After a month of tragedy, things were finally righting themselves in the mindscape.

Everything would get better. It would take time and it would take effort, but things would go back to relative normality. It wouldn’t be forgotten, but they would all move on. Roman especially. 

Maybe he would never like the color green again, and maybe he would still occasionally worry about what he was thinking, but it would be better.

And no Dark Side was going to get in the way of their family ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, my first full length fic has been completed. This has been a crazy adventure for me, even if it wasn't super long like some other fics, so thank you all so much for reading!


End file.
